Situations I will almost certainly never be in, Vol. 1

I am watching "Gladiator" in my loft apartment, wide awake and having a particularly satisfying time pointing out the countless anachronistic bloopers. After my third Nike sighting, which I am more than happy to announce aloud to the director, the actors, and their multi-million dollar budget, I feel a distant rumbling. I blink, and in a flash I am in the body of a well-to-do Victorian Brit sitting at dinner with his friends. Not only am I alive in the nineteenth century, but now I have to carry on a conversation with people I don't know and eat food I didn't order.